"You are the only woman I know who likes to think herself cold and selfish and grand," says Violet ( to Lady Mary). "I believe in rules and tradition and playing our part. But there’s something else: I believe in love."- Dowager Countess of Grantham






Violet  " I believe in love"

For a Downton Abbey character who inhabits a world of strict rules and standards to the point where the space between the dining forks is measured precisely,  it is very reassuring to learn that Violet ( played by Maggie Smith above)  "believes in love".




Bachelor Nation also endorses this view as we play along at home while Ben takes his months long journey to find a love and a wife. But even as we believe in love ... we know  : "Love is not  team sport".






Here is where we are : Ben has invited his three remaining ladies to Jamaica as he enters the stretch run of his quest for love.

Each lady contestant has a day with Ben including the opportunity for an evening in the fantasy suite.








Calia and her smile

The first date is with Caila who has a winning smile and beautiful hair working for her. We are reminded of a time in history where beautiful hair played an important role. We know Thor married Sif who was described as "the most loveliest of woman" and with hair of gold.


How long would it take Sif to wash her hair every day?

Thor once dueled a nasty fellow named  Hrungnir who was described as the strongest of a group of warriors . It seemed Hrungnir had boasted of his plan to kill Thor and bring Sif home with him as he seemed fond of the hair of gold. Thor dispatched this guy ( hey he's Thor ,what did you expect ?)  but one day Thor's brother Loki cut off Sif's hair as a prank.  Thor did not see the humor in this and forced Loki to create a headpiece made of gold to replace the golden locks. Loki engages dwarfs( apparently this is one of their skills)  to create the  gold headpiece and these ambitious dwarfs later went on to create other items such as Odin's spear and Thor's mighty hammer.  The hammer is just another example of  the always intriguing saga of unintended consequences to actions ... Gotta admit though,  it must have been tough growing up as Thor's brother... 








This is how I see  Sif would present in modern day 




Gotta love  Modern day Viking chick  hair style

Caila joins Ben for a day on a rafting ride down a stream but Caila seems stilted and stiff. She mentions the response of the other girls has contributed to her nerves but the reality is she is a bit overmatched for this stage of the game. Ben started with 28 ladies with a goal to find his wife out the wonderful pool of candidates. But watching Caila with Ben , those of us in Bachelor Nation  are not feeling the love.

But our girl meets Ben for dinner and blurts out she is relaxed now and is truly in love with Ben .  Bachelor Nation knows that Ben has to save his declaration of love for the final rose. So Calia and Bachelor Nation expect Ben to acknowledge this revelation gracefully but without returning this declaration of his love.

Downton Abbey demonstrates there are hundreds of rules of etiquette and the one we know on the bachelor is the bachelor cannot reciprocate a declaration of love. We know Violet believes in love but she would also steadfastly believe in the etiquette. Ben started the journey hoping to find his wife in the pool of 28 women. He did not declare he hoped to find a whole team full of wives so we appreciate his distance. 

Ben and Caila head to the fantasy suite with the producers helpfully exploding fireworks in the sky so we might have a metaphor to understanding what the fantasy suite entails. Calia for her part acknowledges Ben can't articulate his feelings of love for here but she "knows" he is in love too. We are not buying it though . When the axe falls off the wall in a movie you have a good idea it will end up in somebody's neck, fireworks notwithstanding.

We don't like her chances of becoming Ben's wife but we do think she should win the category "Most likely to be in a shampoo commercial."

Up next is Lauren ( no B) and a the wire to wire favorite to this point .

Lauren no B enjoying paddle boarding 

As soon as Ben meets Lauren ( no B) he brightens up.  Given we are in Jamaica we have a nature activity. Ben and Lauren will support fledgling sea turtles off to start their journey form hatched egg to the sea  for love and happiness.  


The sea turtles  start their own journey with help form Ben and Lauren no B  

Ben and Lauren ( no B)have a host that points  out these sea turtles need human assistance to make it . Only 1 in 1000 fledgling turtles make it to adult stage we are informed. One  might suggest those odds are better than any of these bachelor relationships making it . Bachelor Nation though is a glass is half full crowd and we are pulling for Ben and Lauren (no B) to get to the finish line.


At dinner Lauren (no B) as expected, declares she is in love with Ben. We believe her and have grown to love her as well . She has a great laugh and Ben is clearly both comfortable with her and has heightened sense of excitement being with her. Ben is clearly at his best with Lauren but we know the "rules".
But then after Lauren tells Ben " I love you" ,  Ben goes rogue !  Ben replies he has loved Lauren for a long time !  Whoa !!!
Ben has to know the "rules" but he just went and smashed them to bits. Lauren is surprised even stunned but adjusts right away to the "news" as she interprets this as she is now the last one standing. This is followed by all sorts of proclamations about how wonderful this is and we are settling in to the idea that the suspense is over now that Ben has declared his love. 

But Ben still has another date and we move on to Jo Jo. "No Jo"  narrowly avoided running the train off the track last week and is eager for her chance.  
Bachelor Nation now enjoys a similar position to those following the fates of the characters in Downton Abbey. We watch the Cawley family lurch forward with a sense that everything will be the same as always even though we know they are doomed.  And now we will see Jo Jo  and expect her to become No Jo as we have heard Ben declare he loves Lauren just 5 minutes ago.



Jumping to one's fate

Ben greets No Jo with a warm embrace and enthusiasm. Jo Jo who could enjoy a career as a bikini model is in her element in the water.  No Jo and Ben visit a waterfall that No Jo declares is the prettiest thing she has ever seen. Personally, I think she exaggerates a bit .  In fact there are probably 300 waterfalls in Iceland alone that would get a higher seed. But we watch the lovely couple frolic around  knowing Jo Jo is about to get a fork in her when she tells Ben she loves him. And our boy responds " Jo-Jo I love you too. "



Ben and Jo Jo enjoy outdoor sports

Talk about going rogue!! The entire cast of Downton Abbey falls off their chair at this double breach of etiquette . Jo Jo freaks out too because she knows Ben CAN'T say I love you unless she is getting the final rose. Bachelor Nation ladies are up in arms.  
Uh oh !


Ben and Jo Jo go on to enjoy the fantasy suite and I can only imagine the reaction of Jo Jo 's brothers.

The next day Caila opts to surprise Ben with a visit. But Ben knows about the axe on the wall and lets it drop. Caila rides off into the sunset with the distinction of being seeded  # 1 in the sweepstakes for the next Bachelorette.
  
  

Ben has placed himself in an awkward spot. The issue is not that he has to make a choice. That condition was ever present. The issue is he has tipped his hand to each girl such that they think Ben has chosen. The producers must be elated because now we have to watch and see. Ben going rogue should boost ratings even at the expense of a broken heart.

Anyway , we know Love is not a team sport so we wait to see how Ben concludes his journey.   I am still on TEAM Lauren but who knows what Rogue Ben is going to do. and that is a good reason to watch .

Who gets the final Rose ??