“Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives - choice, not chance, determines your destiny.” -Aristotle

Aristotle

Here is where we are : Our boy Ben has reduced the field of candidates for the “Ben Sweepstakes” to two ladies :  Lauren  B  ( in blue below) and Jo Jo.

Ben has added some complexity to this situation by sharing words of love and affection to each of the ladies.  Each lady has one final date to help Ben reach some conclusion to his journey for love.

But these dates are like asking a senior in college how are things are going?  For the senior in college the only thing that matters is the answer to one question: What are you doing next year? For these ladies the only thing that matters is will Ben pick me?  So other than enjoying watching  Ben's Mom roll her eyes at some of the ladies praise of young Ben, (mothers know their sons) we were all basically waiting for the choice. 

BEN'S MOM GOING FOR SINCERITY

While Bachelor Nation watched Ben agonize as if he were making the decision facing  President Truman  in 1945  on  whether to bomb Hiroshima or not  to end WW2,  I  began to think about choices and destiny. 

Aristotle in the quote above says our choices dictate our destiny. I think I am in agreement with Aristotle ( I am sure he is very  pleased  to hear that news).

DESMOND

But  Desmond from LOST! suggests the universe has our destiny in mind and shapes events to fulfill that destiny. Could both these philosophers  be right?

Desmond points out he sees the future for his pal Charlie and does all he can to forestall the inevitable destiny Charlie has as the universe has a way of course correcting .  

DESMOND SAVES CLAIRE

"Lost: Flashes Before Your Eyes (#3.8)" (2007)
Charlie: So, you're telling me you saw a flash of Claire drowning this morning, so you knew how to save her?
Desmond: I wasn't saving Claire, Charlie... I was saving you. This morning, you dove in after Claire. You tried to save her but you drowned.
Charlie: What do you mean? I didn't drown.
Desmond: When I saw the lightning hit the roof, you were electrocuted. And when Claire was in the water, you drowned trying to save her. I dove in myself so you never went in. I tried, brother. I've tried twice to save you, but the universe has a way of course-correcting, and I can't stop it forever. I'm sorry - I'm sorry because, no matter what I try to do... you're gonna die, Charlie.

BYE CHARLIE 

Desmond argues  we have a destiny regardless of our choices and actions. Our fates are determined and the universe will tilt things to fulfill the destiny.   I still lean to Aristotle but some part of me wonders if all the various experiences have prepared me for something.  

Our boy Ben seems to have his destiny in his hands as he is the one making the choice as the ladies have long ago articulated their love and preference for moving ahead.  I think he has done himself a favor eliminating the women that would be voted "Most likely to stab him in his sleep" earlier on in the program leaving him with two great candidates for the Ben Sweepstakes.   

Ben eventually gets us to the rose ceremony after the obligatory looks out at the ocean while he tries to get some clarity without consulting Aristotle or Desmond. While we navigate through his dilemma, we in Bachelor Nation ponder for ourselves what will help him reach a decision.  And I start to ponder how we read people and make decisions about them. We can look at a face and make a decision about the person. We think the face is the best indicator of a persons emotions and trust out ability to read the face . Looking at  Lauren B we readily conclude she is a nice, cheerful and  pleasant person. We have seen her for weeks behave in a mature poised manner with a sense of warmth and humor. We can’t tell how she would be on the deck of the Titanic  but our instinct  tells us to trust her and believe in her. She looks happy. When Ben is with her he has almost a glow about him that radiates his happiness. It seems a natural fit for our boy and this is a decision that will be made on his gut feeling not columns in an excel worksheet.  For us in bachelor nation, (well the Wilton, Ct.  Bachelor Nation comprised of Eileen, Summy, and me ) we are pulling for Lauren B.   

SUMMY IS BIG LAUREN B FAN

Eventually we get to the rose ceremony and Ben meets Jo Jo first. Summy barks at Ben since she assumes her opinion matters. Although the producers have given us every chance to perceive Jo Jo  has a shot I don’t like her chances . Ben offers he loves her and his time with her is special ...BUT .........

DON'T FEEL BAD  ..YOU GOT  THE BACHELORETTE GIG!

and that spells the end for No Jo . Ben loves another ... No Jo handles this with class and moves on ......  to become the next Bachelorette  while Ben moves ahead and proposes to his love Lauren B !  

HAPPILY EVER AFTER -- WE HOPE !

Ben and Lauren have completed their journey on the show and begin another post Bachelor and we hope they have found love and will have a great life together.

Thank you very much for joining me on Ben's journey and I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did .

 

"You are the only woman I know who likes to think herself cold and selfish and grand," says Violet ( to Lady Mary). "I believe in rules and tradition and playing our part. But there’s something else: I believe in love."- Dowager Countess of Grantham






Violet  " I believe in love"

For a Downton Abbey character who inhabits a world of strict rules and standards to the point where the space between the dining forks is measured precisely,  it is very reassuring to learn that Violet ( played by Maggie Smith above)  "believes in love".




Bachelor Nation also endorses this view as we play along at home while Ben takes his months long journey to find a love and a wife. But even as we believe in love ... we know  : "Love is not  team sport".






Here is where we are : Ben has invited his three remaining ladies to Jamaica as he enters the stretch run of his quest for love.

Each lady contestant has a day with Ben including the opportunity for an evening in the fantasy suite.








Calia and her smile

The first date is with Caila who has a winning smile and beautiful hair working for her. We are reminded of a time in history where beautiful hair played an important role. We know Thor married Sif who was described as "the most loveliest of woman" and with hair of gold.


How long would it take Sif to wash her hair every day?

Thor once dueled a nasty fellow named  Hrungnir who was described as the strongest of a group of warriors . It seemed Hrungnir had boasted of his plan to kill Thor and bring Sif home with him as he seemed fond of the hair of gold. Thor dispatched this guy ( hey he's Thor ,what did you expect ?)  but one day Thor's brother Loki cut off Sif's hair as a prank.  Thor did not see the humor in this and forced Loki to create a headpiece made of gold to replace the golden locks. Loki engages dwarfs( apparently this is one of their skills)  to create the  gold headpiece and these ambitious dwarfs later went on to create other items such as Odin's spear and Thor's mighty hammer.  The hammer is just another example of  the always intriguing saga of unintended consequences to actions ... Gotta admit though,  it must have been tough growing up as Thor's brother... 








This is how I see  Sif would present in modern day 




Gotta love  Modern day Viking chick  hair style

Caila joins Ben for a day on a rafting ride down a stream but Caila seems stilted and stiff. She mentions the response of the other girls has contributed to her nerves but the reality is she is a bit overmatched for this stage of the game. Ben started with 28 ladies with a goal to find his wife out the wonderful pool of candidates. But watching Caila with Ben , those of us in Bachelor Nation  are not feeling the love.

But our girl meets Ben for dinner and blurts out she is relaxed now and is truly in love with Ben .  Bachelor Nation knows that Ben has to save his declaration of love for the final rose. So Calia and Bachelor Nation expect Ben to acknowledge this revelation gracefully but without returning this declaration of his love.

Downton Abbey demonstrates there are hundreds of rules of etiquette and the one we know on the bachelor is the bachelor cannot reciprocate a declaration of love. We know Violet believes in love but she would also steadfastly believe in the etiquette. Ben started the journey hoping to find his wife in the pool of 28 women. He did not declare he hoped to find a whole team full of wives so we appreciate his distance. 

Ben and Caila head to the fantasy suite with the producers helpfully exploding fireworks in the sky so we might have a metaphor to understanding what the fantasy suite entails. Calia for her part acknowledges Ben can't articulate his feelings of love for here but she "knows" he is in love too. We are not buying it though . When the axe falls off the wall in a movie you have a good idea it will end up in somebody's neck, fireworks notwithstanding.

We don't like her chances of becoming Ben's wife but we do think she should win the category "Most likely to be in a shampoo commercial."

Up next is Lauren ( no B) and a the wire to wire favorite to this point .

Lauren no B enjoying paddle boarding 

As soon as Ben meets Lauren ( no B) he brightens up.  Given we are in Jamaica we have a nature activity. Ben and Lauren will support fledgling sea turtles off to start their journey form hatched egg to the sea  for love and happiness.  


The sea turtles  start their own journey with help form Ben and Lauren no B  

Ben and Lauren ( no B)have a host that points  out these sea turtles need human assistance to make it . Only 1 in 1000 fledgling turtles make it to adult stage we are informed. One  might suggest those odds are better than any of these bachelor relationships making it . Bachelor Nation though is a glass is half full crowd and we are pulling for Ben and Lauren (no B) to get to the finish line.


At dinner Lauren (no B) as expected, declares she is in love with Ben. We believe her and have grown to love her as well . She has a great laugh and Ben is clearly both comfortable with her and has heightened sense of excitement being with her. Ben is clearly at his best with Lauren but we know the "rules".
But then after Lauren tells Ben " I love you" ,  Ben goes rogue !  Ben replies he has loved Lauren for a long time !  Whoa !!!
Ben has to know the "rules" but he just went and smashed them to bits. Lauren is surprised even stunned but adjusts right away to the "news" as she interprets this as she is now the last one standing. This is followed by all sorts of proclamations about how wonderful this is and we are settling in to the idea that the suspense is over now that Ben has declared his love. 

But Ben still has another date and we move on to Jo Jo. "No Jo"  narrowly avoided running the train off the track last week and is eager for her chance.  
Bachelor Nation now enjoys a similar position to those following the fates of the characters in Downton Abbey. We watch the Cawley family lurch forward with a sense that everything will be the same as always even though we know they are doomed.  And now we will see Jo Jo  and expect her to become No Jo as we have heard Ben declare he loves Lauren just 5 minutes ago.



Jumping to one's fate

Ben greets No Jo with a warm embrace and enthusiasm. Jo Jo who could enjoy a career as a bikini model is in her element in the water.  No Jo and Ben visit a waterfall that No Jo declares is the prettiest thing she has ever seen. Personally, I think she exaggerates a bit .  In fact there are probably 300 waterfalls in Iceland alone that would get a higher seed. But we watch the lovely couple frolic around  knowing Jo Jo is about to get a fork in her when she tells Ben she loves him. And our boy responds " Jo-Jo I love you too. "



Ben and Jo Jo enjoy outdoor sports

Talk about going rogue!! The entire cast of Downton Abbey falls off their chair at this double breach of etiquette . Jo Jo freaks out too because she knows Ben CAN'T say I love you unless she is getting the final rose. Bachelor Nation ladies are up in arms.  
Uh oh !


Ben and Jo Jo go on to enjoy the fantasy suite and I can only imagine the reaction of Jo Jo 's brothers.

The next day Caila opts to surprise Ben with a visit. But Ben knows about the axe on the wall and lets it drop. Caila rides off into the sunset with the distinction of being seeded  # 1 in the sweepstakes for the next Bachelorette.
  
  

Ben has placed himself in an awkward spot. The issue is not that he has to make a choice. That condition was ever present. The issue is he has tipped his hand to each girl such that they think Ben has chosen. The producers must be elated because now we have to watch and see. Ben going rogue should boost ratings even at the expense of a broken heart.

Anyway , we know Love is not a team sport so we wait to see how Ben concludes his journey.   I am still on TEAM Lauren but who knows what Rogue Ben is going to do. and that is a good reason to watch .

Who gets the final Rose ??

  






  

  
   
    


  

"CHARLIE DON'T SURF " - Lt Kilgore ( Robert Duvall ) in Apocalpse Now

 

Our bachelor Ben has a busy week as he will visit the families of the four remaining candidates for love. These opportunities offer unique views into the dynamics of the respective families.

We all come from a family of one sort or another and as part of the mate selection process we evaluate integration into another family.  Meeting  the family of a potential partner can be a view into the future. Herman Wouk wrote Marjorie Morningstar with the idea of demonstrating how young girl evolved into a next generation version of her mother.  For Ben, perhaps he can catch a glimpse of the future by getting to know the mothers of these four ladies and observing their family dynamics. Downton Abbey has been a popular show for years presenting the actions  of family members over time as well as the evolving relations between family members. This week on  Downton Abbey, Lady Edith showed us that despite sibling differences  at the end of the day, siblings  are the ones with the  shared memories of the family.

  

 

Ben, Amanda and the kids at the beach

First up ,is Amanda  out on California. As we know, Amanda brings a couple bonus packages to the dance ;one age 3 and the other 1. Ben being a 26 -27 year old single guy has exactly zero interest in kids but hides it well enough to give Amanda a sense he might be able to jump aboard the kid train as part of his overwhelming desire to be with her. Ben does a good job of showing enthusiasm for the kids but as they scream in the car on the way home from the beach we can see him thinking  "I have had enough fun". The elephant in the room is not how our boy feels about Amanda but how he feels about the instant family plan. Ben expresses he is really connected with Amanda but I suspect he was checking for the limo prior to the scheduled departure. I recalled a day I spent back in my first years in NYC in the 70’s . Rob Lawrence ,a fellow with whom I worked had married and had a 2 year old. I spent the day out in White Plains at their home . The child ( a girl named Kelly ) ran around as kids do. She was fine by the time I left but I was exhausted. I have not been to White Plains since that day. Another year or so and I will be fully recovered. I understood then why married people with kids don’t spend a lot of time with single people.  Now Ben knows too. At the end of the visit, Amanda offers she will be crushed if she does not get a rose. It was if we were watching a murder mystery and an axe fell off the hook in the garage. We were on notice for the execution.

 

 

Portland dining

Next is Lauren B. Lauren hails  from Portland ,Oregon  the city of roses. As she has all throughout the show, Lauren  navigates Ben through the day with warmth and humor. When Lauren’s sister  Mollie sister meets Ben , Mollie  prods Ben to know what Ben sees in Lauren besides the fact Lauren she is pretty, funny, smart and nice . Ben demonstrates he has exhausted his articulation skills and brings tears to his eyes  which Mollie interprets as love and gives our boy a hug. At this point we have seen enough to conclude Lauren  will be the one left standing . If she isn’t the one , I will be starting an investigation into the fix !  The good news for Lauren is that sister Mollie has nothing in common with Lady Mary in Downton Abbey. Lady Mary is on the short list for  the worst sister in the history of mankind she consistently sets new records for being nasty to her sister Lady Edith.  How one treats ones siblings and parents  is probably as good an indicator as one can get in projecting how someone will be over time.

We get the sense that Lauren’s family is quite the happy lot and all are rooting for Lauren’s continued happiness. I keep watching even though it is apparent  to me that Lauren  is miles ahead of whomever one seeds in second slot.

 

 

Next up we meet Caila from Hudson , Ohio. Caila is the only child of a white toy company executive and a Filipina mother . Caila takes Ben to create a couple things in the toy factory and then Ben  carries her out of the factory as if he were Richard Gere in "An Officer and Gentlemen" 

Ben and Caila leave the factory to cheers

Compare their exit with Richard Gere and Deborah Winger  here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYn9AoHHR_8

 

One thing about Caila is she  has  beautiful hair which she manages to showcase. Ben seems smitten with her appearance but other than kissing her every chance he can get he seems to barely know her. I noticed  that Caila still  refers to her mother and father as mommy and daddy which gave me a little doubt as to whether she was ready to “bring home the Benjamin”.  She surely has the hair to be the next Bachelorette and I am sure she has been angling for that spot since the beginning.

 

 

The final hometown visit is in Dallas where we  meet Jo Jo and her family. Before Ben shows up , we get some drama when some ex boyfriend  named Chad leaves roses and a note professing he has discovered after a whole 39 days he loves Jo Jo. We have Ben arriving any minute  and Jo Jo feels compelled  to give Chad  a call. Bachelor Nation knows that Amanda’s kids have contributed to Amanda’s stock trading down to Lehman Brothers bankruptcy level. All Jo Jo has to do  to get through to the next round is avoid  having Ben get hit by a bus . But Jo Jo wanders Ben into traffic and risks becoming No Jo.

Jo Jo hurriedly tells Chad thanks but no thanks and when Ben arrives she immediately tells Ben all about this.  The gentlemen’s guide to being the a bachelorette  strenuously recommends never mentioning anything about past relationships  or ones the Bachelor may have with the other girls but No Jo risks doom and shares Chad misses his old flame Jo Jo.

I imagine Ben thinks “At least there are no kids I have to deal with"  and  he brightens up that "all that" ( 2 minutes tops )  is behind us and we can go enjoy ourselves at the family meeting .

 

two non believers in Ben

Ben is wrong  about this forecast  and is met with two brothers who care a lot about No Jo and fear our Boy Ben is stringing No Jo along . They accuse  Ben  that he is not as into her as she is to him. They have a point in that we seem to be playing a game of the girls declare their undying love and devotion while Ben murmurs he is being real and there is something "there”. In his defense what is he supposed to say –“ hey the producers coach me on keeping doubt up to the rose ceremony otherwise I should send everyone home now and hang out with Lauren who we all have to figure by now is going to be the one” . Instead he mumbles something and gets out of Dodge as fast as he can.

 

Jo Jo making a statement

 

Well No Jo just entered the range of possible hometown casualty and the rose ceremony starts as expected with Lauren  and Caila getting roses to the next round. Amada and Jo Jo are left standing with a final rose left.  JoJo  tried to save her hometown disaster by showing  up in a dress revealing enough cleavage to give Ben something to think about besides getting beaten by her brothers. I imagine Jo Jo is thinking toss the chick with the kids Ben and we get the overnight date and all that offers. 

 

Charlie Don't Surf is a famous line from the 1979 film Apocalypse Now, spoken by Lt. Col. Kilgore ( Robert Duvall in a great role) as justification for taking a beach at the Mekong Delta so the American soldiers could go surfing. American soldiers referred to the Viet Cong as "Victor Charlie" or simply as "V-C". "Victor" and "Charlie" are both letters in the NATO phonetic alphabet corresponding to 'V' and 'C', respectively. "Charlie", when used alone, referred to communist forces in general, both Viet Cong  and North Vietnamese.


Well Charlie  Don’t Surf and BEN DOES NOT DO INSTANT FAMILY .

Jo Jo gets the third rose and we are down to three.

"The odds are good, but the goods are odd"

We are heading to Ben’s hometown of Warsaw, Indiana.  You may have forgotten that in addition to Ben, Warsaw High School also produced noted short story writer and newspaperman Ambrose Bierce back in the early 1900’s.

One of Bierce's  short stories was “The Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” which served as a basis for a Twilight Zone episode back on TV in the 60’s that I still remember vividly. ( It aired February 28th 1964 so it has some staying power) There may be some parallels with Ben’s search for love and this story.

Does not look good for our boy

The Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge story went like this: ( from Wikipedia)

A handbill posted on a burnt tree, dated 1862, announces that anyone interfering with bridges, railroads or tunnels will be summarily executed. A bearded Civil War civilian prisoner, Peyton Farquhar, is readied for death by hanging from a rural railroad bridge. Union troops carry out the preparations with slow solemnity. The soundtrack contains only bird noises and occasional military orders. As the rope is adjusted about the civilian's neck, a vision of his stately home, wife and children flashes before him.

Reunion

As Farquhar falls, the rope breaks, and the prisoner drops into the river. In a swirling underwater sequence he frees himself from his bonds, kicks his boots free and swims downstream as soldiers fire volleys and single shots at him. Farquhar is swept through swift rapids and crawls ashore exhausted but laughing with relief. Glimpses of tree branches, clear sky and crawling insects are interrupted by a distant cannon shot which sends him running through an extensive forest, then along an eerily linear and orderly lane. Finally arriving at the gates of his home, he pushes his way through foliage. Farquhar reaches open lawn and runs toward his wife as she walks toward him, smiling and weeping.

Just as the couple are about to fall into each other's arms, Farquhar suddenly stiffens and his head snaps back. The scene cuts back to his body hanging from the bridge—​his escape revealed to be fantasy experienced in the moment of the drop.

No rose for Peyton Farquhar

Well it seems as if many of our earlier contestants have feelings  similar to Mr. Farquhar when sent home. And we know that Ben’s hometown visit also means two of our remaining six girls will be sent packing. It may not have the finality of “suddenly stiffens and the head snaps back” but to them it seems like the end of the world.

As we advance the Bachelor action from the weather challenged Bahamas to Indiana we get an aerial view of Warsaw, Indiana and notice lovely yards and houses intermixed with lakes. All seems “nice” here and the girls gear up for some playoff caliber play.  Ben meets with the girls in their temporary home. In a change rather than a date card delivered to the girls defining the date, Ben asks for a date in person.  He asks Lauren (who has lost the B now that Lauren H has gone home) as his first date. After a quick tour of the town, Ben reveals he was the HS quarterback and drives in his pickup truck to a recreation center.   Lauren joins the kids in some friendly hoops and jump rope while demonstrating her ability to feel comfortable and charming at the same time. The kids are rooting for her we witness “The Jack Reacher of the Bachelorettes” handling everything that comes her way with assurance and charm. Lauren without the B asserts her alpha dog status in the contest leaving Ben and us assured of her top seeding. She will not meet Farquhar’s fate today.

Lauren B is a charmer

Ben follows up with another one on one date with Jo Jo (who comes into the match holding precariously to the 4 seed) in Chicago. Taking her the Wrigley Field, (home of the Chicago Cubs)   which I think is a way to keep the male viewers interested- (I would love to go to Wrigley although having wine with Ben in centerfield is not really my top preference).  Jo Jo mentions she feels the doubt inherent in her position. She confesses she feels obliged to profess her undying devotion to a guy who thinks the outfield is a place for drinks and is minutes away from his next date. By contrast Lauren (with no B) never has this type of conversation and exists as if THE OTHERS WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED do not exist. It is a much better strategy and Jo hurts her cause by a bit of wallowing in doubt. The good news is she can hit, which is rare, so she vaulted up to third on the leader board in my view on that basis.     

Lets play 2!

Next Ben has another group date with Becca, Amanda and Calia. If the producers imagine nothing can be worse than last weeks’ Bay of Pigs fiasco they are wrong. Instead we take our three ladies out to row some boats in what looks like a swamp. Becca and Calia in their own boat struggle to move and wondering if they might be better off sharing the fate of Farquhar. They are further hammered when Ben announces there is a rose for this group date and the recipient joins him for the rest of  the day while the other head home. “Where is that bridge again?” ponders Becca.    

Amanda, the mother of two young kids gets the rose and joins Ben for more fun and in Warsaw.  Amanda has been away so long her blond hair is turning back to brown.  Ben seems to shrug this kid issue off but when the little ones are miles away it is easier to do that. But instead of helicopters and mountain picnics Ben takes Amanda to Mickey D’s.  The producers must be working on a short week as it is hard to watch this without thinking Ben better get accustomed to ordering happy meals if he pursues this candidate with the instant kids further.

Amanda

Finally, we have the twin for a visit to “Meet the Parents”.   It is this date that triggered the opening quote of “the odds are good but the goods are odd”.

Emily the twin

Although we like the twin she is overmatched in this spot. What grew up in Vegas seems to be better off back in Vegas as her aspirations to be an NFL cheerleader are met with doubts by bachelor nation. When Emily is discussing her life and goals “I would love to watch movies all day”, Ben’s Mom face tells you she is praying this chick is not the top seed. Mom spends her time with Ben suggesting the twin is a bit young which is Mom speak for – “you can’t possibly be thinking of marrying this chick”.

Ben’s dad has his chat with the twin but seems to be thinking that the police might arrive any minute because he must be breaking at least three state laws hanging out with a chick that seems as if she is still in girls’ scouts making cookies. Dad is enormously relieved when his ordeal is over and can only wonder what the other five chicks are like. It is time for prayer he thinks to himself.

Emily will land on her feet

Fortunately Ben gets the vibe from both parents that they would assume the weeping role of Farquhar’s wife were he to choose the twin.  On the way back to the girl’s new house Ben hears from the twin how much she enjoyed the day but he knows the rope is around her neck. He yanks the rope and quickly lets her down at the dock. The twin heads home in tears knowing this past month will offer some consolation that for year’s people will ask her “hey weren’t you that chick on the Bachelor?”

We still have a rose ceremony with Ben obliged to end the dreams of another lady.

Calia and her hair

This ceremony comes down to Calia and Becca. This week Calia used her time with Ben to show off her hair and hopefully attract a shampoo advertiser.  Ben is smitten by her looks but there is none of the easy flow of conversation that Lauren has with Ben.

Becca is a San Diego beach girl

For her part Becca, has had little time with Ben herself and feels frustrated by the lack of progress in their relationship despite Ben’s assurances that they are fine.

With Amanda having a rose, Lauren and Jo Jo get roses leaving Becca and Calia, standing with a single rose left. Ben grabs the rose and we are apprehensive about who he will choose.

We see Becca close her eyes a moment and I can imagine her dreaming about Ben and herself in a meadow. Becca is barefoot in a sundress prancing toward a picnic. Ben playfully chases here and they meet at a blanket adorned with a picnic basket along a gentle stream as the sun shines in a blue sky. Ben gently kisses here and we are transported to a church with Ben at the altar and Becca marching down the aisle to Pachabel Canon in C minor. She reaches the altar and reaches for Ben’s hand……

“Calia”… announces Ben.  

Ben chooses Calia and Becca stiffens. He back arches and for a moment I almost see her head snap back as did Farquhar as she takes in the reality.

Arggghh

So there are four left. We all like to speculate on the fate of our ladies so I will do so here. Ben’s parents would be enormously relieved to hear the twin is gone but it is doubtful they know Amanda brings a party of three to the dance.

At this point Lauren has the momentum and Bachelor Nation endorses her candidacy. Calia is in perfect spot to get what she wants- which is to be the bachelorette. Amanda will get crushed as it is hard to see Ben going for the party of three at Mickey D’s and diapers to change after being the bachelor and eating at Wrigley Field and taking helicopters everywhere. Jo Jo will be in the mix but she has a lot of wood to chop to knock Lauren B off her perch at the top. She can hit though so I will root for her to make the finals.

    

Ladies and Gents: Your Bachelorette Bunny Boiler !

Bunny Boiler

We tune in tonight to see how Ben will resolve last weeks’ cliffhanger . Ben had heard from some of the ladies that Olivia was not playing well with the others . Rather than a rose ceremony , Ben  walked off to have a chat with our crazy candidate and left us wondering all week if Ben would withdraw the rose. Given we had ample evidence Olivia was nuts , it seemed precedent setting to withdraw a rose .

 After Ben challenges her behavior with the girls,  Olivia wriggles out of the jam suggesting she does not spend time with girly stuff like nails and braiding hair but instead focus on “smart stuff”. Well I am relived to know she is using every minute wisely.  Olivia suggests jealousy of her connection with Ben might inspire some resentment from the girls.

Ben incredibly buys this and they walk back to a rose ceremony where Jennifer  gets a fork in her and strolls off to be welcomed  to the cast of  Bachelor In Paradise  next summer. Bachelor Nation ,however, is going to be subject to another week of Nutjobs R US as Olivia flies to the Bahamas along with the rest of the crowd.

At this point after hearing numerous times  she is “Zen with Ben” and going to marry him we all know she is a Bunny Boiler.  In case you don’t know what a Bunny Boiler is a refresher might be in order.

The term evolved  from Glenn Close's character in 'Fatal Attraction', who after engaging in a steamy hot one time sex scene with a colleague, Michael Douglas' character, she resorts to boiling her former one time sex partner's family pet rabbit in an all out war aimed at disrupting his life, family, career and destroy (emphasis on destroy) him for not wanting a sincere nuclear family type relationship with her.

You can see the scene here:

Needless to say, the   parental guidance we offered to our  young master Shea,  included the sage advice to avoid Bunny Boilers. Ben, however, does not  have same benefit and  we in Bachelor Nation are shown all we need to know about Olivia and Ben  seems to heading to  Olivaimageddon, where all reason goes out the window. 

With an over confident Olivia in the crowd travelling to the Bahamas we learn Calia will get a one on one date with Ben  while the producers set up Olivia and Emily( our twin who we know despises Olivia) to go on a two on one date with Ben where at least one girl gets a ticket home. Win or go home indeed. The rest of the ladies will pile in a group date which is likely to be a tad awkward with everyone jockeying for position on the Ben leaderboard.

Calia enjoys her day catching a fish and at dinner Ben wants to define her level of commitment. Calia responds with a series of answers that would confuse Yoda  . But what was spoken was not really what was said. My head was spinning trying to make sense of it but here is what I think really was said:

 

Calia

Ben:  “I want to know are you ready for this ?” ( Meaning : are you still on board the  Ben express train?)

Calia:  “yes, I mean I might love you but I am not quite ready to say it”  ( Meaning : I really don’t care about you but need to make it to the final four so I can be the bachelorette)

Ben: “I am glad I have seen another side of you beyond the smiling cheerful girl “ (Meaning : jeez please get Lauren B out here so I can relax)

Calia: “I think we could be happy” (Meaning : if I can make the final four, bachelor nation will root for me to be the bachelorette and I don’t have to fake any more interest in you ) 

During all this basically non event date we are treated to a pouting Leah.  Leah moans to anyone who will listen she has not had enough time with Ben  diminishing  her chances at true love. We are getting our first look at Leah and so far it is whine , whine, whine which doesn’t exactly  impress us while   keeping score at home.   

Leah

Leah and the girls  head out on the group date  which is basically a disaster for everyone. Some how the producers conceived swimming with hungry pigs was a winner but forgot to discuss this with the pigs. It seems the pigs like hot dogs and the bikini clad girls are wading thru shallow waves avoiding ravenous pigs who  basically attack the hot dog waving girls.  I have to admit I never once considered taking a date to swim with pigs but hey I am not a producer of reality shows so maybe I have missed something .  Had she been along for this ride, I have a feeling Olivia might have pondered how the pigs would look boiling in a pot  at Ben’s house.

At his point with bikini clad chicks fighting for their lives, Ben wanders off with top seeded Lauren B to everyone’s frustration.  Lauren H is probably thinking teaching kindergarten is better than this while Leah  is building up a reservoir of  frustration  that tees her up for what comes next. Jo Jo is fleeing pigs and wishing she were anywhere else but on this group date.

Olivia and Emily

The two on one date  features our remaining twin Emily  vs Olivia on a rain soaked  spit of land.  We groan  when Ben suggests Olivia take a short walk with rose  in hand. But after Olivia, in anticipation of getting he rose , drops  the I love you  on Ben. But Ben balks  and shrugs  he is not feeling it and he has to say goodbye. Bachelor Nation  cheers as if Ben jacked a home run in the bottom of the ninth to win one for the home team.  We have just avoided years of psychotherapy.

Emily is, of course, delighted and we see the Ben and Emily head back to safety with Oliva standing on the shore ex rose. I cant help but imagine Olivia  is cooking up her revenge and the pigs better be nervous . I hope Ben doesn’t have pets .

Meanwhile back at the hotel Leah has a few minutes with Ben and wastes it as she gives up Lauren B as not being authentic.   Ben has struggled all show with how to keep command  of his role  ( to the point of asking each of the girls he is supposed to act and  keep everyone happy ).  Hey Ben  it is not that tough,  step up to the plate and keep your doubts to yourself . Amanda, already an experienced mother, weaves right into the comfort role and assures Ben everything will be all right.

Leah is ready to take a desperate measure and reaches back for some of her bag of tricks from high school. She knocks on Ben’s  door late at night. Alone with Ben –no interruptions-we figure she is going to warm up to him . But instead she falls victim to one of the classic blunders -the most famous of which is, “Never get involved in a land war in Asia”*—but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never talk about other girls when you are alone with the Bachelor”

Leah uses this intimate window to continue to whine about Lauren B and Ben has had enough. He was figuring maybe he will get to know Leah perhaps a tad better –but instead  whine,whine whine. So out she goes.  We aren’t shedding any tears here either .

Now we get to the rose ceremony and it is starting to get interesting as somebody  promising has to go tonight. Jo Jo gets a rose after enduring a pig attack that should have been on National Geographic.  With Calia , Emily and Amanda ( group date rose winner) already with roses we are down to Lauren  H and Lauren B with one staying. I fear for my Lauren H.

Lauren B holds on to top spot 

Ben opts to toss out Lauren H who  was my favorite . But we can expect to see here in the summer too in Bachelor in Paradise so the 5 year olds  in Michigan don’t have to worry about new lesson plans just yet.

Bye Lauren H

 We have had a change in the leaderboard as I see it: 

Lauren B: holds top seed

Amanda :  had  a good week moves up to second

Amanda

Becca:  From the young one in the farmers season. she seems to be the mature one here

Becca



Calia: final four but not really  in it to win it- totally focused on being next bachelorette 

Jo Jo

Jo Jo:  slipping a bit. might never get over the pigs chasing here

Emily: likable but too young to carry the ball much further

*From “The Princess Bride”