Bachelor Recaps 2016 : Ladies and Gents: Your Bachelorette Bunny Boiler !

Bunny Boiler

We tune in tonight to see how Ben will resolve last weeks’ cliffhanger . Ben had heard from some of the ladies that Olivia was not playing well with the others . Rather than a rose ceremony , Ben walked off to have a chat with our crazy candidate and left us wondering all week if Ben would withdraw the rose. Given we had ample evidence Olivia was nuts , it seemed precedent setting to withdraw a rose .

After Ben challenges her behavior with the girls, Olivia wriggles out of the jam suggesting she does not spend time with girly stuff like nails and braiding hair but instead focus on “smart stuff”. Well I am relived to know she is using every minute wisely. Olivia suggests jealousy of her connection with Ben might inspire some resentment from the girls.

Ben incredibly buys this and they walk back to a rose ceremony where Jennifer gets a fork in her and strolls off to be welcomed to the cast of Bachelor In Paradise next summer. Bachelor Nation ,however, is going to be subject to another week of Nutjobs R US as Olivia flies to the Bahamas along with the rest of the crowd.

At this point after hearing numerous times she is “Zen with Ben” and going to marry him we all know she is a Bunny Boiler. In case you don’t know what a Bunny Boiler is a refresher might be in order.

The term evolved from Glenn Close's character in 'Fatal Attraction', who after engaging in a steamy hot one time sex scene with a colleague, Michael Douglas' character, she resorts to boiling her former one time sex partner's family pet rabbit in an all out war aimed at disrupting his life, family, career and destroy (emphasis on destroy) him for not wanting a sincere nuclear family type relationship with her.

You can see the scene here:

Needless to say, the parental guidance we offered to our young master Shea, included the sage advice to avoid Bunny Boilers. Ben, however, does not have same benefit and we in Bachelor Nation are shown all we need to know about Olivia and Ben seems to heading to Olivaimageddon, where all reason goes out the window.

With an over confident Olivia in the crowd travelling to the Bahamas we learn Calia will get a one on one date with Ben while the producers set up Olivia and Emily( our twin who we know despises Olivia) to go on a two on one date with Ben where at least one girl gets a ticket home. Win or go home indeed. The rest of the ladies will pile in a group date which is likely to be a tad awkward with everyone jockeying for position on the Ben leaderboard.

Calia enjoys her day catching a fish and at dinner Ben wants to define her level of commitment. Calia responds with a series of answers that would confuse Yoda . But what was spoken was not really what was said. My head was spinning trying to make sense of it but here is what I think really was said:

Calia

Ben: “I want to know are you ready for this ?” ( Meaning : are you still on board the Ben express train?)

Calia: “yes, I mean I might love you but I am not quite ready to say it” ( Meaning : I really don’t care about you but need to make it to the final four so I can be the bachelorette)

Ben: “I am glad I have seen another side of you beyond the smiling cheerful girl “ (Meaning : jeez please get Lauren B out here so I can relax)

Calia: “I think we could be happy” (Meaning : if I can make the final four, bachelor nation will root for me to be the bachelorette and I don’t have to fake any more interest in you )

During all this basically non event date we are treated to a pouting Leah. Leah moans to anyone who will listen she has not had enough time with Ben diminishing her chances at true love. We are getting our first look at Leah and so far it is whine , whine, whine which doesn’t exactly impress us while keeping score at home.

Leah

Leah and the girls head out on the group date which is basically a disaster for everyone. Some how the producers conceived swimming with hungry pigs was a winner but forgot to discuss this with the pigs. It seems the pigs like hot dogs and the bikini clad girls are wading thru shallow waves avoiding ravenous pigs who basically attack the hot dog waving girls. I have to admit I never once considered taking a date to swim with pigs but hey I am not a producer of reality shows so maybe I have missed something . Had she been along for this ride, I have a feeling Olivia might have pondered how the pigs would look boiling in a pot at Ben’s house.

At his point with bikini clad chicks fighting for their lives, Ben wanders off with top seeded Lauren B to everyone’s frustration. Lauren H is probably thinking teaching kindergarten is better than this while Leah is building up a reservoir of frustration that tees her up for what comes next. Jo Jo is fleeing pigs and wishing she were anywhere else but on this group date.

Olivia and Emily

The two on one date features our remaining twin Emily vs Olivia on a rain soaked spit of land. We groan when Ben suggests Olivia take a short walk with rose in hand. But after Olivia, in anticipation of getting he rose , drops the I love you on Ben. But Ben balks and shrugs he is not feeling it and he has to say goodbye. Bachelor Nation cheers as if Ben jacked a home run in the bottom of the ninth to win one for the home team. We have just avoided years of psychotherapy.

Emily is, of course, delighted and we see the Ben and Emily head back to safety with Oliva standing on the shore ex rose. I cant help but imagine Olivia is cooking up her revenge and the pigs better be nervous . I hope Ben doesn’t have pets .

Meanwhile back at the hotel Leah has a few minutes with Ben and wastes it as she gives up Lauren B as not being authentic. Ben has struggled all show with how to keep command of his role ( to the point of asking each of the girls he is supposed to act and keep everyone happy ). Hey Ben it is not that tough, step up to the plate and keep your doubts to yourself . Amanda, already an experienced mother, weaves right into the comfort role and assures Ben everything will be all right.

Leah is ready to take a desperate measure and reaches back for some of her bag of tricks from high school. She knocks on Ben’s door late at night. Alone with Ben –no interruptions-we figure she is going to warm up to him . But instead she falls victim to one of the classic blunders -the most famous of which is, “Never get involved in a land war in Asia”*—but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never talk about other girls when you are alone with the Bachelor”

Leah uses this intimate window to continue to whine about Lauren B and Ben has had enough. He was figuring maybe he will get to know Leah perhaps a tad better –but instead whine,whine whine. So out she goes. We aren’t shedding any tears here either .

Now we get to the rose ceremony and it is starting to get interesting as somebody promising has to go tonight. Jo Jo gets a rose after enduring a pig attack that should have been on National Geographic. With Calia , Emily and Amanda ( group date rose winner) already with roses we are down to Lauren H and Lauren B with one staying. I fear for my Lauren H.

Lauren B holds on to top spot

Ben opts to toss out Lauren H who was my favorite . But we can expect to see here in the summer too in Bachelor in Paradise so the 5 year olds in Michigan don’t have to worry about new lesson plans just yet.