3 "likes" and yer out !!

Lauren B- the front runner  but what color are her eyes??

Bachelor Nation has the enjoyable voyage tagging along on Ben's journey to find a soul mate. Now we get ponder his choices and actions as we await his destiny.  

Malcolm Gladwell wrote with some insight into  the college selection process. Gladwell puts forward the notion that students should not necessarily go to major, prestigious universities just to take advantage of that prestige. Instead, students should go to universities where they are likely to truly and notably excel. Our boy Malcolm draws upon a principle called “relative  deprivation”.  This principle describes how we measure ourselves against the people  immediately around us.  We tend to compare our successes to their successes, as well as are our failures.  The  weaker students at an elite school may rank in top  of lower ranked school but by comparison to their elite school peers  they feel less capable and unsuccessful. They may have been better in a non elite institution where they have better chance of being successful  than have dreams and confidence crushed.

This concept has relevance to more than college selection discussions. The bachelor is many things –  primarily it is a TV show conceived to be entertaining  and draw viewers and advertisers . But the Bachelor is a  program about the mate selection process among other things.  Bachelor Nation enjoys the process and the personalities while the mate selection process plays out.

So,  you may ask, does Gladwells’  theory have relevance to our boy Ben? We all have a sense of our personal level of attractiveness which generally evolves by comparing ourselves to averages or others we know. We can also see what Hollywood  deems attractive. With that sense it seems that we attempt to qualify our dating pool to those we think are in our same category of beauty/attractiveness. There was a HOUSE episode years back where a beautiful lady was married to a very plain even unattractive guy who was ill. HOUSE  remarked you are a “9” what are  you doing with a “4”?  This is not natural, he continued  “ 9’s’ belong with “9’s” , “4’s” belong with “4’s”.  Given that all the bachelorettes are very attractive as is Ben, there is a parity of sorts in terms of appearance.  The producers do a good pre selection on the basis of attractiveness plus make it pleasant for Bachelor Nation.  Now that attractiveness does not create a relative  deprivation for Ben , we have to move on to the next predictor. So in addition to physical presentation what else can be the next best predictor of mate selection choices?  Or on what basis will Ben make his choices as he continues his journey and will the lady be a good choice?

We have “ the birds of a feather flock together”  theory which we can describe as  the tendency for dates, mates and spouses to pair off with someone of similar attraction, background, interests and needs.  The contra theory  is “opposites attract” but even in those matches we often  see couple develop similarities  and finish  each other’s sentence while they  evolve into common activities , and parent together. 

While we ponder which Bachelorettes are establishing  connections with Ben we realize the choice is going to be on the basis of what Ben gets out of the relationship in terms of how his needs are  met. It seems Ben grew up in a home where he was nurtured, and supported by his parents. They sustained his growth and development. Ben is a birds of a feather guy  and he is going to be more comfortable with someone of similar background, interests and needs. He will look for someone who promises growth and support in fulfilling his potential in all areas of his life. Eventually I think Ben is going to pick the one most like his mother. ( although in his age group J) . By the way "find someone like your mother" is the same advice I offered young master Shea!  

 

Ben opens the week with a one on one  date with Amanda . They go on a hot air balloon flight across some pyramids  in Mexico.  Ben offered some appreciation  of  the construction skills of the builders of the pyramids  but neglected to bring up the Aztec ritual ripping  human hearts  from the chest of young ladies.  Not getting a rose from the Aztecs had a lot of downside for the bachelorettes.

Amanda will not have her heart ripped out by Ben today either.  The entire Bachelor Nation  would happily volunteer Olivia as favored  candidate for the human sacrifice but this date is Amanda’s window. Amanda has gotten out of the blocks with some difficulty. She is divorced with 2 kids and is trying her best to give the kids a start. However, every phrase she expresses  interposes  “like”  in the sentence  to the point where I am counting the number of times she says “like”. Ben is no better and the producers have to get these people out of “like” high school.  Amanda gets a rose but I think of it as a courtesy rose  as our boy is kind and does not want to hurt her. However, she will relate to the human sacrifice victims  who had their hearts ripped out in a couple weeks or so.  She is doomed despite her pleasant personality and will likely be gone before the final four. She does not fit in Ben’s world and several of the candidates are much better fits and just as attractive.   For Amanda it is  3 “likes” and yer out !

 

Amanda

Next , Ben takes nine girls on a group date where they practice a couple Spanish language expressions and then go off to cook some Mexican food. The show this far seems to be to make sure everyone is worn out by Olivia but of course to make us all roll our eyes Olivia gets the group rose. This episode is similar to watching a movie where you want a character to just get whacked. Where is Ray Liotta when you need him?  We would pay to have Ray show up and "take care of the problem".

Ray Liotta

But not only has Bachelor Nation had enough fun with Olivia, the girls are sick of her as well. But we need conflict to make this interesting and Olivia  brings that to every scene. Stephen Cannel was a Hollywood writer  for many action shows. He used a theme in his writing showing  ‘what are the bad guys up to? . I think the bachelor producers have adopted a similar mantra as Olivia get more time than anyone . It seems the producers perceive Bachelor Nation is happy engaging in rooting against someone as it is to root for someone.

 
Jubilee, who has nothing in common whatsoever with Ben's mother, took the occasion to press Ben on his commitment level and walked the plank .  The maidens on the pyramid awaiting the sword had more of a chance to survive than Jubilee. And Ben has whittled the field to ten.  

Finally, Lauren H ( my personal favorite) gets her day in the sun with a one on one date with Ben and Mexico fashion week. Our young couple takes spins as a runway models and sip margaritas. Lauren H   demonstrates  warmth and sense of humor. I have to concede she is a charmer and easy to like. Ben could be happy with Lauren H .

Enthusiasm counts !

She seems to fit Ben well and she has blue eyes to go with her blond hair. I see her making the final four although Lauren  B and Calia seem to be running 1-2 on Ben’s leaderboard. But I am concerned that Lauren B has brown eyes to go with her blondish hair. In that case -- she cant get to the finish line. Nature does not support  the Blond hair- brown eyes combination !! ( the second piece of advice I imparted to young master Shea)

 

Lauren H has blue eyes

Although we are presented as this is Ben’s journey for love, it is really an audition for the next bachelorette. The next Bachelorette has to win the hearts of  Bachelor Nation while managing  to come close but not “win” Ben’s final rose.

At this point I see Lauren B ( only if she has blue  though) as the leader for Ben and Calia as the  next Bachelorette . It is time for Ben to drop 4 or five girls to bring the field  down to Jo Jo , Becca, Lauren B , Lauren H and Calia .

Maybe we can say goodbye to Olivia next week too!