"A Murder of Bachelorettes"

While Ben is stepping into his week of dates with his bevy of bachelorettes, I have been wondering what to call this “ group of bachelorettes” as they seem to require a unique classification given they have very specific goal –which is to be the next bachelorette.

 

Anthropologists would define this as a show about mate selection process in the human species albeit under unusual conditions. I happen to enjoy the nature shows with the  British accented narrators so let us reference some naming possibilities from the animal world.

We all are familiar with “a school” of dolphins  and a “herd’ of buffalo but  we also have  possibilities  such as:

 A bask of crocodiles

A siege of herons

An exaltation  of larks

A bloat of hippopotami


A  troop of monkeys

A pandemonium of parrots

A muster of peacocks

An unkindness of ravens

A crash of rhinoceros

A murmuration of starlings

and my personal favorite :

A murder of crows

 

I have a feeling many of these might apply to our young ladies. Certainly “a siege of bachelorettes” is a valid candidate  as our boy Ben is almost assaulted when he enters the room full of the ladies. And we already know that it will not take long for the sniping to begin amongst our “unkindness of bachelorettes” as they jockey for position on the Ben leader board. Clearly a “muster of bachelorettes” deserves consideration as our ladies have something in common with a peacocks as they strut their stuff at every possible occasion.  

Anyway this gives me something to ponder while Ben begins his journey for love.

We open with a group date to a high school where Ben seems to have some challenges set up for the ladies to overcome on the way to one of the “pandemonium of bachelorettes” being anointed the homecoming queen. One of the events was a real tough one- place Indiana on a map. Stunningly Becca and her teammate placed Indiana horizontally where Pennsylvania is located and shrug when notified where Indiana actually is located in the midwest.  Now we know how the NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND program had its roots. Bachelor Nation however ignored this because it was fan favorite Becca. I have to think the producers will be reluctant to send Becca out on her own to get some salsa or chips while hanging around though. I don’t recall giving any geography tests when I was in the mate selection sweepstakes back in the day but I think I might have drawn the line at not knowing where Indiana is located. Maybe if the lass were from Kazakhstan I could understand but Becca is from California. At this point Becca’s status dropped down from “good shot at final four” to “let her go gently after a few rounds” (and don’t ask her for directions).
 

Ben seems to have taken a fancy to Jo Jo from Dallas and takes her up to the roof for a view of LA. Jo Jo gushes at the view because enthusiasm counts as part of the grade and Ben vaults  her status  up from “who is that?”to “ Hmm she seems nice and maybe his type”.  The good news is Ben did not take crazy Lace up to the roof. If he did then he may have endured enough whining to nudge her off the  roof and they we would have really had a “murder of bachelorettes”.  ( you had to see that coming J )

Ben also takes a few ladies to a chemistry love test where Olivia shines and glows to earn yet another nod from Ben. Olivia is quickly assuming the role of the chick all the other ladies will despise.

She channels Charlie Sheen by announcing “winning” as she displays her rose but we are all seeing her build up animosity among the “crash of bachelorettes”.

Lace gets a few opportunities to show the entire nation how not to be the bachelorette by heading straight into whine mode during her time with Ben. Last season we had the crazy lady who I am convinced killed her 27 year old husband to create eligibility for the show, given the rules preclude a wife from competing . She handled that pesky rule by poisoning the hubby as she reported he dropped dead  while walking to work.  We know that is a lie because no one walks to work. Anyway, the producers seems to anoint a crazy one and Lace is an early adopter of the crazy one role. She has the world record time in the category of “ hey she is a stunner”  to “jeez can we please put a fork in her  now"  in  the history of the show.

We get to the rose ceremony and Ben has a surprise when LB( who we don’t really know )  gets a rose and decides this show is not for her and leaves. Mercifully Mandi and Samantha say goodbye but Lace survives to whine another day.